A while back a friend, and I will add a very close friend who had way too much wine to drink, asked me, “But was it worth it?”
We were talking about her and her husband having kids, and she wanted to know if Jack was worth it. By “it” she meant the time, the energy, the missed nights out, the not going out to dinner, the trips that we won’t be able to take, the expense of having a child.
At first I didn’t know how to respond to this question. Because I look at Jack and I don’t see missed dinners at fancy restaurants or a trip I could have taken to wine country. I don’t see Ann Taylor sweaters that I will never afford or a boat I will never own.
I see love and goodness. I see days at the park and trips to Disney World. I see Christmas mornings and dinners at Red Robin. I see a life I never would be have been possible without Jack.
The reason this question didn’t insult me is because I know it came from a sincere and true place. And if you can’t ask your friends these kind of life changing scary questions, well then who can you ask?
So I said of course it’s worth it. Which, might I add, is not the same as telling a pregnant woman that it is all worth it.
Because my friend was asking if choosing a life with kids full of restraints and schedules and sitters, worth it over a life of doing what you want all the time?
Sure, I miss going out to dinner at the drop of a hat, and I miss having that extra glass of wine at a party. I miss dancing across the thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning. And of course it would be nice to spend money without thinking about bottles, diapers, formula and baby food.
Who doesn’t sometimes miss the niceties of the life we left behind?
But then I think of the things that this “new” life with Jack brings. The smiles, the hugs, the small moments of irrepressible joy that he brings to each day. Then I think of all the smiles, hugs and moments that have yet to come.
Clothes and boats and things will never love you back. Fancy dinners are quickly digested and all that extra glass of wine ever gave me was a hangover.
Yeah it’s worth it, it’s a no brainer.
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You are so right! Isn't it amazing how these little beings enter our life and it changes it for the better. I love how you write about the experiences and wonder your sonn brings to your life…which by far makes up for the missed trips or fancy toys. Very beautiful post!
Now..I have 3 teenagers and I ask that "Is it worth it?" question more than at any other stage of their life. Some days are shaky but the answer is still yes! 🙂
Stopping by from Pour Your Heart Out
Totally, totally worth it. And something that is hard to understand until you are on the other side of being a parent that those little ones look nothing like those fancy clothes or boats or trips – they look so much better!
Definitely worth it. The only regret I've ever had was that I didn't finish school first and that was simply because I just don't want to leave my kids now. I've become so used to every waking moment with them that I can't imagine anything else. New follower =]
It's absolutely worth it. It's different, that's for sure. But, I wouldn't change it.
Ah, yes, absolutely. Worth every second. Even the insanity. 😉 Well written, well put, and even touching enough to make me a little teary-eyed this afternoon!
Thank you for all your wonderful and thoughtful comments!!! : )