On Sunday John and I celebrated our 6 year wedding anniversary. And like the day we got married it was a gorgeous almost fall day.
Something about the weather kept taking me back to that day 6 years ago when we said our “i do’s”.
I don’t remember what the cake tasted like or what was served for dinner. I don’t remember the color of the napkins or what my flowers looked like. But I do remember the friends, the dancing, the laughter and the love.
And those are the things that stick with me most from that day, a day that simply was perfect.
I got to thinking about how little a wedding has to do with marriage.
Vows are said but I don’t think that any couple grasps the importance of them when standing in an expensive dress, having spent the last 6 months trying to discern bridesmaid dress colors, salad choices and dance music.
I think the things that make a marriage come after the wedding, after the honeymoon and after that blissful period when you stare at one another and think things like, “my husband”, “my wife”, “we’re married”.
I think a marriage comes down to so much more than rings and first dances.
It comes down to standing up for one another. To arguments over who finished the last of the cereal or who forgot to take out the trash. To making up.
It’s about little moments like getting your spouse ice cream after a long day or a quiet night on the couch.
It’s sticking together when someone loses a job, is down on their luck, a child is sick or the money is tight.
It’s embracing the good moments and making time for each other. It’s about finding common ground and not growing apart and finding a way to keep growing together.
It’s about taking a screaming baby when one of you has had enough, it’s guiding your wife through labor and watching your husband become a father.
It’s about each of you working towards making your life better. It’s about the family you make.
These little things end up being the big things. Bigger than any diamond ring or couture gown. These little moments that make a marriage are what keeps it strong.
Marriage isn’t an easy road. No one will tell you that when you’re in a white gown but over time you will know it.
And for me marriage has always been about walking this road of life with someone by my side. Someone to hold my hand through the good, the bad and the vomit encrusted days. Because as long as I know I’ve got my man by my side then I know we will continue to live up to everything that we hoped for on that gorgeous September day.
John and I spent a wonderful day in Cape May celebrating our anniversary….
I saw the picture of those houses, and thought they were incredible! What a fun day to spend together (and a great picture of you two). You're absolutely right about marriage, all of it. Weddings are fun, but not the objective.
Thank you! The houses in Cape May are amazing and we had a blast spending our day there.
I feel the same way about weddings and marriages. The wedding is completely eclipsed by the every day life as one heart, one soul. Happy anniversary! May the best yet to come.
Alita
Thank you and I love your words, "the wedding is completely exlipsed by the every day life as one heart, one soul".
You said it so perfectly. I always feel sorry for brides that get so wrapped up in the "DAY", get wrapped up in the marriage. Like you said it's most definitely all those little things that make you feel loved and supported and really aren't so little 🙂
I know so many brides who got wrapped up in the day and are now questioning their marriages and I can't help but think that maybe they let the idea of a wedding get in the way of the marriage.
So beautiful. And so right. My husband and I counsel and help prepare couples for marriage at our church and we tell them much of what you wrote here. You are wise.
Life has such ups and downs and it is such a blessing to have someone by your side through it all that you KNOW has your back and you have theirs.
Great post!
Thank you! That must be so fulfilling preparing couples for marriage.
Happy Anniversary! You're insight into marriage is definitely right on. Sounds like you found a great man:)
Michelle
Thank you, I like to think I"m lucky.
Happy Anniversary! pictures are glorious. Fall is my fave time of year and it's so beautifully captured here. I'm trying to think why I didn't get married in the Fall. My hubby and I will be coming up on 7 yrs in December. "These little moments that make a marriage are what keeps it strong." Ah, so true. Lovely post 🙂
Thank you fall is my favorite time of year, too.
Happy Anniversary! Marriage is way hard. But if you put the work into it, it's incredibly rewarding and comforting to know you have this one person on earth who is so strongly bonded to you.
You are so right it is very rewarding.
That is beautiful and what a lovely spot. You are so right. I've been married quite a while and often think — glad that I had no idea what marriage was like before I did it. That sounds bad and I don't mean it to. It's hard work sharing your life with another, but I wouldn't have it any other way or with any other person. Happy Anniversary to you.
It is hard work sharing your life with another person and I don't think it sounds bad to say that. I think it's hard to know what marriage will be like till you're in it.
Congratulations. I agree with absolutely everything you said. I'm coming up on 13 years and have been thinking about an anniversary post. This was definitely inspiring.
So glad I could inspire you and Happy Anniversary.
I just celebrated my 2nd wedding anniversary with my husband. I think you summed up marriage to a 'T"….Happy Anniversary. (Visiting from #iPPP for the first time)
Thanks for visiting and Happy Anniversary!
Happy Belated Anniversary! It really is so much more than the dress, color scheme and food. It is about the little things that add up to the big things and keep the years coming with lots of love, support and happiness.
Thank you and you are right the little things do add up to big things.
Everything you say here is SO true. I wish more people could understand these things when they actually say those vows. Beautiful post, friend. 🙂
Thanks Elaine. I think it's hard to understand what a marriage is like unti your already in it.