The walls are freshly painted but they are still empty. No pictures or photographs or decorations.
We’ve been here 6 months and it still doesn’t feel like home, at least not our home.
The other day while at a doctors appt I thought I would run home before continuing my errands. Which was fine except that the home I was thinking of running to was the one we sold nearly a year ago.
Our new home is beautiful and we are right where we belong, and I still don’t feel like I belong here.
We are just starting to get to know our neighbors and some days while Jack naps I wander the house and think, “is this really ours”. I wonder where my things are. My photos, my decorations, my books.
Most of them still packed away in the basement, waiting to find a home.
The neighborhood is filled with families. I see them smiling and waving to me as they walk past or when I drive by the bus stop in the morning.
When I walk Bailey at night past the lawns and the white picket fences, I feel safe. Something I definitely didn’t feel in our last neighborhood.
I hear children laughing and dogs barking in our old hood it was quiet and the only sound would be random drunks wandering home from the bars or the couple on the corner fighting on their front porch.
But I liked our old neighborhood and in many ways I miss it.
I miss my proximity to the beach and being able to walk to restaurants and shopping. I miss the joy of wandering around our neighborhood and looking at all the different houses, no two exactly alike.
I miss the organic feeling of that neighborhood. A feeling that the property lines weren’t perfectly squared out. That the trees hadn’t been planned and that the design of the homes changed and grew over time. That those houses had history, that they weren’t picked from a brochure in a builders office.
I miss all of that. So much so that yesterday after a long day at work I started driving home to that house. Only to reach an intersection and realize I was going the wrong way.
That, it is no longer my neighborhood, that my family no longer lives there. So I went home to the fresh paint and the empty rooms. Home to my husband and my little boy and my puppy. Home to my family and to a house that will some day feel like home.
I took this picture on Saturday and I couldn’t help but be reminded of a similar picture taken on a similar weekend nearly a year ago.
I've had a hard time with our last move. We've been here for three years and my walls are still blank. 🙁
Moving is hard and I think it's hard to decorate and put down roots when you still feel like you are in transition.
It is hard to feel settled again. I am horrible with deocrations and hanging things so it takes me forever. And I predict that by the end of this summer you will be loving your new neighborhood as you get out to meet all those other families!
Heather, I really think/hope you are right : )
Oh my gosh, I can totally relate to this! I still don't feel at home in our "home." I don't know what it'll take… I drive by our old house often…
Thank you for dropping by my blog.
Rebecca @ Breaking Into Myself
I've driven by my old house a few times. It's tough to go by and know it won't ever be home again.
I can do relate, though almost pre-relate. We are in the process of selling are home, we haven't yet found a new home. But every word you wrote rang so true to me. We would be moving from organic houses to boilerplate ones. Though I am hoping to actually know my neighbors this time. I want white picket fences and families. Good luck making your home a home! (I wrote a post on what makes home just last week!)
Good luck with your move. I felt the same way when we were selling our home and the white picket fences and families were part of the reason we choose this neighborhood.
Moving is so hard, at least you know you are where you need to be. Hope you feel settled soon!
I think moving is my least favorite kind of change, even if it's for the best it's still tough.
I've been in this house for 8 years and the decor is still the first owner's. It still doesn't feel like it is really mine or representative of who I am. We were really friendly with the neighbors until my sons got so busy that we are never home anymore. It just doesn't feel like I belong here, either. I'm glad you are where you need to be but that doesn't make it any easier.
I think that part of it for me too, is that this house isn't really representative of who I am. It's a bit too modern or something.
We have been in our house for 5 years and I still don't feel like it's home. It's great that you know where you need to be, but sometimes that doesn't make things any easier.
It doesn't make it any easier. I keep telling myself that at some point this will feel like home.
I've totally done that before, driven on autopilot. I live in a track house too and as great as my home is, I would love the charm and mish mash of an older neighborhood where things aren't so perfect.
What I LOVE about our planned community is all the parks and greenbelts, it's just beautiful here.
You are right that planned communities are so beautiful and filled with grass and trees and it just makes for a pretty place.