Mommy he says, cause the days of “mama” have faded away, can I sit on your lap.
“Sure buddy” I say and pull him onto my lap.
“Mommy can I have a hug”
“Of course” I say wrapping my arms around him, his skin still baby soft from his bath.
“Mommy rub my back”
So I sit on the floor holding all of him. His long limbs that barely fit on my lap anymore. At three and a half he is already more than half my size. And I feel his head nuzzled into my shoulder and for a moment he is the infant that I used to rock to sleep at night.
“Mommy can we read snuggle puppy?”
I carry him over to the rocker and we sit down. I always think we will outgrow this seat and I know that some day, likely soon, we will but right now we find a way to fit neither of us willing to give up this space, this time our snuggle time. And he knows that I never turn down the chance to sit on the rocker with him.
I open the book and read and he recites the story we know by heart with me. “Oooh snuggle puppy of mine, everything about you is especially fine, I love who you are, I love what you do”.
And we sing the words together and end with a kiss. And I think back of when I brought this book, long before he understood these words, long before I imagined him singing along with me. Long before these moments.
When I brought this book I brought it for me, for a change from our usual stories and now this has become our story, our song.
And there is something about 3 and a half that feels so fleeting. That we are on this bridge between toddler and “big boy”. That each time we sit on that rocker it could be the last, that these moments of “Mommy can I sit on your lap” may be gone too soon. That he may not want to read Snuggle Puppy forever. That while there are stages and things that I wish we could get through fast (hello, potty training) there are moments like these that I want to preserve, hold and savor.
“Now I have a thing to tell you and it didn’t take long the way I feel about you is kind of a song.”
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Absolutely beautiful! My youngest is turning 4 next week and I totally feel the same, just this short precious stage that will be gone too soon.
Thanks Emmy, it is such a short precious stage.
This made me cry… because I remembered how much my boys all loved that book and how all of them are too old for it now. It goes so fast.
Aww Shell, it does go too fast.