The Right Boy

I’ve never been much for pink and red, I’ve always been more of a black and gray kinda gal.
Valentine’s Day has never meant much too me. In fact for years I shunned it, avoided it and ignored it.

Photo by Karrie Davis Photography

Valentine’s Day was not something to celebrate, it was something to get through. A day that always left me some what disappointed for reasons I couldn’t define. Maybe it was the lack of carnations I received in High School, or the college roommate who thought Valentine’s Day was a chance to flaunt her love life. Or maybe it was just me, and Valentine’s Day served as a reminder of my lack of love life or my love life’s lack of romance, things that never bothered me the other 364 days of the year.

When I had Jackson I never gave the holiday much thought. I dressed him up in his “My First Valentine’s Day” outfits and took pictures of his smiling little face. I remember that day, 3 days before I had to return to work, and just days after Jackson’s colic had finally seemed to be calming down. We were finding routine and calm and smiles. I was so smitten. I was so relieved that the months of screaming were (somewhat) past us. And for the first time in years John and I took our weary selves, away for the night and celebrated Valentine’s Day.

And a tradition came to be. Since Jack was born we’ve celebrated Valentine’s Day. Some years in big ways and other years in smaller ways, but every year since he was born we’ve celebrated. I don’t know why but, I think that as much as we loved each other before Jackson, we didn’t know how much more we could love each other after him.

We didn’t know how having a child would make us love each other more. We didn’t know how hard those early months would be. We didn’t know that we would find ourselves shouting at each other over bottle brands and who forgot to throw away a dirty diaper. Or that nights would be spent arguing over who’s turn it was to get up with the baby. We didn’t know that our child would cry from dawn till dusk and that all the love and hugs in the world wouldn’t calm him. We didn’t know what it was like to lean on each other in a way we never had before. To have to say, “I need help, I can’t do this without you”.

 You don’t know how deep love goes until you see your husband holding your son for the first time. Or you watch you wife pace the house for hours while the baby cries. How being married is one thing but becoming a family is another.

And each year, Jackson’s love for Valentine’s Day grows and I find myself caving to into it. Running to Target for the right Valentine’s and buying gifts for his Grandmothers and his best friends. I find myself buying gifts for him, even though I firmly believe this is not a gift giving holiday but a 4 year-old love and generosity is infectious.

Photo by Karrie Davis Photography

And somewhere my 16 year old self is thinking me a sucker. She’s wearing a black T-shirt and baggy jeans. She’s eyeing the red carnations with suspicion and jealousy. She’s watching her roommate get flowers and jewelry and shaking her head over this Hallmark Holiday. But she doesn’t know love yet. She doesn’t know how much the right boy will change all that.

Do you celebrate Valentine’s Day?