My Facebook news feed fills with posts titled 21 Things to know as a boy mom or 5 things only moms of boys say. And I read these posts and sometimes I smile and nod but more often I find myself feeling like I don’t fit in. Like I don’t relate, like what I’m reading is a bunch of tired cliches about what little boys are like. Like most of those things apply to all children, not just boys.
And while my son loves a good fart joke and gets a good laugh out of shaking his butt at me; there’s so much more to him than that.
He’s not a rough and tumble kid. I’ve never had to worry about him climbing on furniture or jumping off things. He’s not messy, in fact he’s been known to pick up after his father. And if he’s quiet it’s because he’s having some serious play time with his play sets, not making a mess.
He’s quiet and insightful and has been known to ask for me to “turn off the radio” so he could have some peace and quiet.
And while he’s a boy and I’m his Mama, I don’t want to be lumped into the title “boy mom”. Maybe it’s because just being his Mom is enough. Maybe it’s because I don’t feel the title fits us. Or maybe it’s because there are enough lines drawn in motherhood and I don’t feel the need to write another one.
In this day when we are desperately trying to push for neutral colored easy bake ovens and for tool sets for girls. Why, when we want to raise our kids to be anything they want to be, do we feel the need to throw another label into the mix.
Sometimes in motherhood it seems we are so eager to label ourselves, to know where we stand; “boy mom” “girl mom” “breast feeder” “free range parent”. We need to know who’s side we are on. When did it become so hard to simply just be a mom?
So yeah I’m a mom and I happen to have a boy but, please don’t call me a boy mom.
I do think a lot of those lists could apply to any mom. One of my nieces is more rough and tumble than my boys are(and for my boys, that's saying a lot!) While I'm okay with being called a boy mom, I totally get where you're coming from. Any sort of label comes with its own stereotypes and they don't always apply. I was an extended breastfeeder who used to then immediately follow that up with oh, but I fully believe your boobs are your business and I have nothing to say if you chose differently, because anyone who heard that label about me automatically assumed I'd judge (or that I must cloth diaper and make my own baby food- neither of which were true).
I'm glad you wrote this. I have two sons, and like you said, while I feel like my boys do fit some of the cliches (they are loud and rough), my oldest is also extremely emotional and sensitive and has a very tender heart, and is probably every bit emotional and dramatic "as a girl". I hate cliches like that. That every girl is emotional and full of drama, when we all know that some really aren't. Or that boy's aren't allowed to be. In any case, I completely agree with you and think you make a great point. Stopping by from Shell's link up. 🙂