10 Reasons Summer Vacation Drives Me to Drink

Oh the lazy days of summer. Lounging on the beach, enjoying a cocktail by the pool, oh wait what’s that, oh that’s right I’m a Mom and these days the summer is anything but lazy. In fact it’s more so the crazy days of summer. Where I rule the day a success if I make it till 5:00 without pouring a cocktail. There are a lot of things about summer that are fun but yeah, there are definitely a few that can drive me to drink .

The cost of summer camp.
Every spring I peruse the vast options for summer camp for my son. And every year I promptly toss them in the trash. $50 a day for a half day of gym camp, nearly $200 for 3 days of art camp. It’s as if they know parents are desperate and are out to take advantage. And no matter how many ways they spin, “water fun days” or “art activities” it’s never worth 200 for my kid to color or run through the sprinklers.

Sidewalk Chalk

Bubbles best friend and likely delivered by the Easter Bunny with thoughts of springtime fun. Sidewalk chalk always seems a good idea until my hands are covered with the dust from it which makes me feel old and dirty all at once. And it doesn’t just stay on the sidewalk. My son has been known to chalk up my car and patio furniture.

The ice cream man 

The ice cream man is my arch nemesis ever since his ass rolled into my hood on Easter, he has been a thorn in my side. This asshole shows up every day just as I’m about to make dinner and I fight the daily “no you can’t have ice cream”battle.

Sand

Nothing like putting your toes in the sand and relaxing on the beach, that is until you go to leave and realize that your child has put more than his toes in the sand. In fact there is sand in places, that you thought it could only get to on spring break after too many tequila shots. Not to mention that no matter how many times you wash the sand toys or your child you are still taking half the beach home in your car.

Sunscreen

I’m a firm believer in wearing sunscreen every day but, but can someone else please apply it to my child? The squirming, the whining and the complaining that go into the 5 minutes it takes to put lotion on are enough to make me wish for rain. I’m sure my neighborhood hears the daily screams of “you got it in my eyes” coming from my house every day.

The Sun

Speaking of the sun, not only do I have to be concerned about it’s cancer causing rays, I also have to worry about it setting later. Which means that after a really long, hot day, spent covered in sunscreen and sand, my attempts at an early bedtime will be fought by complaints of “but the sun is still out”.

Bathing Suits

After a long winter of wine and cheese and cookies and cozy nights in forgiving sweat pants I’m now suddenly expected to squeeze myself into something that may have less coverage than my underwear.

The Stuff

Summer involves a lot of stuff. The buckets, shovels, towels, chairs, floats and sunglasses the list goes on and on. And I’m constantly losing something or leaving something behind. The sunglasses we started the summer with will not be the ones we end it with and it is inevitable that I will forget towels for swim lessons at least once and that we will come home from the beach with a few less beach toys.

There’s no school….
enough said.

Glasses up, Cheers!