Today I yelled over spilled lemonade. It wasn’t my finest moment. And in my head I could hear all the voices saying, “don’t cry over spilled milk” and I had just yelled over spilled lemonade.
But it wasn’t the lemonade that did me in. It was the day. It was that I had made more meals before noon than most people eat in a day. It was the half wasted granola bar and the cup of sour milk that sat on the table, while the four year old asked if it was lunch time yet.
It was the endless requests to make lemonade. And “can we make it now”, “is it time to make lemonade yet?”, “mom are you done your coffee yet”. It was the relentlessness. And the fact that a 5 minute task had now taken me a half an hour and if I hadn’t been interrupted so many times I would be done.
It was all the canceled plans and that desperate feeling that I could use just ten solid minutes of uninterrupted adult conversation. Or just ten minutes of uninterrupted anything.
It’s the peach cobbler that overflowed and is burning the bottom of my oven because I was too distracted to use the right sized pan. It’s the house filling with smoke and the dog barking because the mail lady insists on sitting in my driveway and texting. It’s the noise, the chaos and the drama.
A 4 year old stomping his feet and saying, “I’m going to my room”. And me saying, “no you’re not who is going to clean this mess”. Cause I’m certainly not.
It’s the endless mess, that spills out of the playroom and into the living room and creeps it’s way to the dining room and the kitchen. It’s a sea of Lego’s and Action Figures and stuffed animals that just keeps growing and growing until I feel like I might drown in the stuff.
It’s the voice in the back of my head that keeps saying, “Enjoy these days”, And it’s the guilt I feel instantly for not enjoying every moment, even though I know that’s impossible. It’s the guilt I feel that we aren’t doing something FUN today. It’s the insane guilt I feel that every day isn’t FUN. That some days are just days when laundry needs to be done and errands need to be run and Mom has some work to do.
It’s all of this. All of this, over and over again, day in and day out, that has lead me to yelling over spilled lemonade. Because it’s never really about the lemonade.
Sigh. I'm right there with you. You don't want to reprimand them for minor things, but sometimes the situation makes what would've been a minor thing into a larger issue. I'm torn between realizing that my DD is little now, and I will probably regret any time she doesn't have my full attention… and the fact that I can't physically keep up with her 24/7. She's little, and I have no doubt that when I was her age, I did exactly the same things. I just wasn't the one having to do the clean up.
Yes it's so hard when the minor things become bigger things and it's so hard to be everything to some one 24/7.
I gave up on complaining at my son! He's a clumsy soul! I just roll with it and keep going. I have been giving him more responsibilities, though, so he can start cleaning after himself!
LOL I love that phrase, "he's a clumsy soul" I need to remember that.
It's never about just that one thing. It all builds up. Sometimes when it's been a long day, one thing will happen towards the end of the night and I'll lose it- my husband will look at me like I've lost my mind because he didn't see all the other things that happened that led to that moment.
i can so sympathize with that!!!
We can't enjoy every moment. That's too high a standard for moms to keep.
Sometimes the little things can build up and seem overwhelming. Fortunately, we get a night of sleep and a chance to try again.
Yes and sometimes all i need is that night of sleep.