Ever since I announced I was pregnant, I get asked the same questions over and over again. “What do you think you’re having?” “Do you know what you want?” “Do you think it’s a boy or a girl?”
And I hesitate to answer because I do want one over the other. And I don’t want to jinx it by saying it. And there seems to be a stigma that it’s wrong to want a certain sex. I feel like answering that question is a double-edged sword. No matter what I say I’m wrong, to have wanted one over the other.
And each time I do give in and answer, I’m met with the ubiquitous, “Well, as long as it’s healthy, right?”
As if there is anyone out there who isn’t hoping that. As if that isn’t always the first thought. But when you ask me if I want a boy or a girl, I should be able to answer. It shouldn’t feel wrong to want one or the other.
Ever since I was a little girl I’ve wanted a daughter. I wanted someone to play Barbie’s with and to go shopping and have girls days out. I wanted a daughter to shop for prom dresses and get our nails done. I wanted a daughter to plan a wedding with and go on girls weekends and to share a great bottle of wine with.
And maybe a lot of that comes from the fact that I have a great relationship with my Mom, and I want that. I want a daughter to share those things with.
I wanted a girl when I found out I was pregnant with Jack. But I knew I was having a boy all along. And I wasn’t shocked or sad when the ultra sound tech told me it was a boy. Did I still want a daughter? Yes. But I knew not this time, not this baby, and when Jackson was born I couldn’t imagine having any child other than him.
And my having wanted a girl doesn’t diminish or take away from that love. Wanting something I didn’t get doesn’t, mean that I don’t love what I got more than I ever thought possible. I would change nothing. I wouldn’t trade him for all the daughters in the world.
I didn’t go into this “trying” (a term I hate) for a boy or a girl. We just knew we wanted another, a sibling for Jackson, another child to love.
This time around I have my hopes about what this baby is. I have a gut feeling about whether it’s a boy or a girl. And I don’t feel any shame about wanting one over the other.
And if I don’t get what I want, the only disappointment I would feel is that I won’t have a daughter, that, that dream is gone. I would still be excited about the child I am having the one that I feel moving every day, I would love it regardless.
So yes, I want a girl. And I don’t feel bad about it.
This week we find out what we are having, either way we are so excited for this new addition to our family.
I always thought I’d have a daughter. I didn’t have a strong feeling one way or another about my first. I did sort of think my second was a girl because my pregnancy was so different from my first. But still, no disappointment when I found out he was another boy. With my third, I knew he was my last, so when I found out he was a boy, I did take a pause to mourn the idea of ever having a daughter. I still loved him so very much (you’ve met him- he’s our charmer!) but I did have to readjust to the idea of always just having boys. I wouldn’t trade any of mine for a girl, but I used to think I’d have them AND a girl.
It’s completely normal to have an idea about what you’re having and to have an opinion about it. Though, with my third, so many people assumed that the only reason we were having a third was to try to have a girl when really, we were just having another because I’d always wanted 3-4 kids.
Can’t wait to hear your news! <3
TJ wants us to go to the baby store and buy him a baby sister. If the time comes that we add another…I am torn. I would love a girl for many of the reasons you listed, but at the same time, I feel a boy would be easier…We have done it. We have everything we need. We don’t have to worry about TJ getting rough with a boy, he will be right there with his big bro. I feel TJ would be closer to a boy than a girl like my nephews. John and I did not like each other growing up, and even moments now sometimes..lol. I think 2 boys would have a better relationship, but at the same time, he would be an overprotective big brother. SO my answer would be, either. Not so much as long as they are healthy, but I have my reasons for both.
When I found out we were having twins I want one to be a boy so badly. We already had a girl and I want a little boy. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it either. My husband on the other hand wanted all girls. His little princesses. Now he’s very happy we have one boy.