When I decided to breast feed Grace, it was definitely a last-minute decision. I had already checked “bottle fed” on all of the paper work when I was admitted and that was the plan until she was born. After I had her as I lay there recovering and waiting for the doctors to finish their work, she lay on top of me in what I can only describe as feeling like home. This little girl that I had waited so long for. When the nurse asked again about our feeding plan, I surprised myself by saying, “I think I want to try to breastfeeding”.
My delivery nurse was awesome, and she was right by my side to teach me how to feed Grace. Once we were comfortable and Grace was eating, I asked her, “what if I want to supplement down the line” and she looked me in the eyes and said, “that is completely up to you, you are her mother and all that really matters is that you feed her, however is best for you”. And those words eased all the pressures and voices in my head that had always told me that this baby feeding debate was all or nothing. That it was breast or bottle and no in between. That I couldn’t dip my toes in each and find what worked for my family. That deciding to breastfeed didn’t mean I could never offer her a formula. That it meant that I didn’t have to be her sole source of nutrition, a job I had already taken on for 9 months and that the idea of being it for another year seemed daunting. There was a middle ground.
And for once the idea of breastfeeding didn’t seem so overwhelming. That nurses words really made the whole process seem manageable and easy. I knew that if I felt like it was too much I could change courses. My husband could offer her a bottle and let me sleep if need be.
And so far things have been going well and anytime I find myself feeling overwhelmed I remind myself of her words and I feed my baby without stress or worries, without voices screaming “breast is best” or my own voice saying “think of how great Jackson did on formula,why make your life harder”. I feed her and look down at the beauty that is Grace and I don’t worry about whether I’m doing it right or wrong. Because loving this little girl and enjoying this time together is all that matters.
And a big shout out to Stacy and Melissa at Shore Memorial who were both wonderful sources of support while I was in the hospital.
I knew going in I might not be able to breast feed because of the reduction. I knew I was going to try but knew formula was more probable than not. I think that’s why it wasn’t such a big issue for me. I breast fed TJ for 4 months. He was supplemented from day one. I physically could not meet the demands at the hospital and it was ok…. I was ok with it. I saw what the stress did to my other friends and didn’t want that. My goal was for as long as I could and i did. That’s what matters. As long as she is healthy and YOU are happy, whatever works for you.
I’m so glad that you got that advice. I hate that there’s such pressure to bf. I did it with all three of mine but you should have seen the looks on the faces of other bf’ing moms when I didn’t join in their chants of breast if best. It worked for me and my babies, but I’ve always thought “your boobs, your business.”