A few weeks ago after a long day when the baby wouldn’t nap and was refusing to go to bed. The house was a mess. Nothing was going right. I went into my room planning to close the door and lie on my bed and wait for the baby to fall asleep. Instead I caught a glance of my closet and I did what women do when they just can’t take it anymore, I angry cleaned.
And as I tossed old sweaters and outfits that haven’t seen the light of day in a decade I felt relieved. Sure the baby was crying and the house was a mess but life somehow felt better knowing that my wardrobe was a few sparkly tops lighter. So if like me you’ve been holding on to pieces of your wardrobe for longer than your children have been alive, here are some things you definitely want to get rid of.
Items In Your Closet to Get Rid of Right Now
What you wore for New Years Eve 10 years ago. That striped sparkly top from express has only one place it belongs at a Britney Spears concert in the early 2000’s.
What you wore for NYE 5 years ago. Realistically now the only thing you celebrate NYE in is your bed.
Anything with sequins that even hints of celebrating past 10 pm.
Dress you borrowed from a friend 5 years ago. It’s not in style, she doesn’t remember you have it and it’s better for both of you if you just get rid of it.
Anything you owned before your first child was born. It’s not in style anymore than your kid still fits in their newborn clothes.
Clothes you never removed from the dry cleaning bag. Sure you paid $5 to have that tank top with zipper trim cleaned but you haven’t removed it from the bag and therefore it needs to go.
Pre-first-pregnancy pants. You are never getting that body back.
Pre-second-pregnancy pants. Nope, not getting that body back either.
Your college book bag, even if it was a sweet corduroy bag. There really is no such thing as a “sweet corduroy bag” even when you were carrying it to “intro to buddhism” .
Anything purchased at Woodstock 99. You can remember the festival without the tie dye shirt or the velvet purse and tank top with straps that tie.
Your Jagged Little Pill concert T-shirt. I know it’s hard but even Alanis doesn’t dress like it’s the 90’s anymore.
Shirts from a company you no longer work for. Nothing says “I’m out” like donating the companies shirts to your local shelter.
Scarves that make you look like you are at a Stevie nicks concert circa 1970 or anything that Steven Tyler might wear. Scarves are in but these scarves are definitely out.
Scarves that make you look like where’s Waldo. I’m all about stripes but if you look in the mirror and find Waldo, it needs to go.
Uncomfortable shoes. Why, are there even such a thing.
Anything you are saving in the event you go back to work. Unless you are going back in the next year, it will likely be out of style by the time you step foot in an office again. And realistically you don’t want to start your trip back to work in pants that you wore 5 years ago.
My closet could probably use a lot more editing. I still hold on to things for way too long. My wedding dress is still hanging in the same bag I put it in the morning after my wedding. There are dresses I’ve worn to holiday parties that probably ( okay definitely) don’t fit anymore. And jeans that I’m crossing my fingers will some day fit again. But it’s a start.
This is hilarious! I try to clean out my closet a few times a year, but it always amazes me what I will find that I can’t believe I held on to. I think I have some Steven Tyler-like scarves I need to let go of.