****DISCLAIMER: The following was written while sleep deprived and aggravated, with apologies to those without children I hope I do not offend anyone. The letter is meant to be humorous.****
May 23rd 2011 1 day away from 6 months
To Sleep or not to sleep that is the question. Lately Jack has been waking in the am anytime between 5 am and 7 am. I prefer when he wakes at 7. When he wakes during the 5:00 hour I had been putting him back to sleep but then it seemed that he slept too long and then it became harder and harder for him to take his naps later in the day. So I started staying up after the 5 am waking. This seemed to back fire because his morning nap became shorter and now nonexistent. So what’s a mom to do?
I would love the extra am sleep, but like Jackson, going back to bed back fires on me. It makes me miserable because I think once I lay back down I realize how sleep deprived I am. I have to force myself to get back up and something in me says, “just stay in bed all day, just sleep”. Going back to bed is surrender in my war against the exhaustion. And of course as soon as I lay down Jackson wakes back up. Going back to bed is not an option for me, but another cup of coffee is. So I’m running on caffeine. It’s weird I probably get about 6 hours of sleep a night and it seems like this should be enough. But week after week getting only 6 hours is not enough, at least not for me. I would give anything to sleep 8 or 9 hours. To have someone else get up at 5 or 6 and just let me rest. John hates getting up early and to him “early” is anything before 10. So when he does get up it takes him about 10 minutes to get out of bed, at which point I’m already awake. Then I don’t know what happens after he leaves the room but, it sounds like chaos. So I lay in bed pondering what the hell is happening out in the living room. No sleep is had.
Being a mom is not an easy job. I think I’ve said this before. It is takes a toll on you mentally, physically and emotionally. The lack of sleep along with being the sole source of survival, entertainment and stability for one demanding little person is taxing. On top of that there is the house work to attend to and if you have a pet, like I do, there is a sweet little fuzz ball that needs attention. Bailey, the puppy, wants a walk, to play ball, to be petted and loved in the same way that he was before the baby arrived. And he deserves to be treated the same way but, it’s just not happening. Bailey keeps dropping his ball in front of Jackson, hoping that Jackson will play. He doesn’t understand that Jackson can’t play with him yet. Then there is my husband who wants attention too. He wants dinner, clean laundry and his wife’s attention. I feel bad but by the end of the day I don’t have the energy for much more. Once I’ve attended to the three most important people in my life (yes, Bailey counts as peoples) I don’t have much more to give. Which brings me to my “open letter to those without children”
Dear Friends without Children (FWC),
I am writing in regards to your request for me to go to dinner/ the bar/ adults evening out. In the event that I am able to obtain a sitter for the above request please keep in mind that this may be the one time I am able to get out of the house without an infant in the past week. I request that you come prepared knowing that I will not stay out late, I will not do shots, I will not have more than 2 drinks, I will not bar hop, and I will not spend an outrageous amount of money on food, drink etc. Also be advised that I will not entertain you. I have spent all of my energy entertaining an infant, a dog and my husband. I have nothing else for you. I look forward to the pleasure of your company and the opportunity to have an evening with adults. In the event I am unable to attend please try to understand. It would be lovely if you could suggest an alternative activity. An example of an alternative activity could be but is not limited to, watching a movie at my house, having drinks at my house, playing a board game at my house. In the event that you do not wish to spend the evening at my house, may I suggest we meet up during the day for coffee or to go for a walk. All daytime activities are pending based on nap time.
Thank you for your time and for inviting me/us out. Even if we can’t make it, it is appreciated that you still think to ask us out.
Sincerely,
The people who you used to drink too much, spend too much, eat too much and stay out too late with.
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