02/14/11 11 weeks and 5 days
To celebrate Valentines Day (which we never do) John and I decided to go to Philly for the night and go out to dinner and stay over. It was our first night away from Jackson and we were both anxious about it. I was surprised that John was anxious too. I think most of my anxiety came from the fact that John’s parents were taking Jackson to their house. Jackson hadn’t been out of the house with anyone other than John or me. I was worried about the 20 minute car ride from our house to John’s parents house. Would the car seat work? Would his mom drive safely (she is a really safe driver)? Would there be drunks on the road, or drivers texting or new parents in desperate need of sleep that might fall asleep and go careening off into the other lane and smashing into the Dodge pick up truck that was carrying my son? These were just a few of the worst case scenario’s I had pondered as I put him in his car seat.
John’s mom was very gungho about going out with him. She wanted to go food shopping and out to breakfast. Luckily John’s dad is more level headed and nixed both ideas.
We were just getting on the expressway about 10 minutes from our house when his mom called. She just wanted to let us know that they had made it to her house. I of course was assuming the worse the moment the phone rang.
We checked into the hotel and flopped on the bed. I could have instantly fallen asleep. Since we didn’t drive to Philly to sleep (or did we) we got ourselves together and headed out for the night. We went to The Black Sheep an Irish pub for a light dinner. The place was packed and had a really fun pub atmosphere and a huge beer list. We loved it.
Then we went to Tria a wine, cheese and beer bar which was also great. We loved the snacks and wine. We had a fabulous time and then we were back in our hotel room by 10:30. Yes, we were back in the room at 10:30. In our glory days (insert Bruce Springsteen sing along here) we would not have headed out till 10:30. Now here we were sober 10:30 at night and ready for bed. What had become of us?
I don’t know if I can properly express how important sleep to me at this point in Jackson’s babyhood.. I would put Jackson to bed at about 10 and then I would go to sleep. He would sleep about 6-8 hours. I would wake up at 2, 3, 4 in the morning and listen for him. But all I would hear would be silence. My heart would race. Was this silence good or bad? Should I be thrilled or scared? So in my typical fashion I opted to be a worry wart and would tip toe into the hall way and peak through the slightly open door to confirm that all was well.
The idea of 8 consecutive hours of sleep without having to listen for Jackson was such a wonderful thing. Unfortunately I didn’t sleep that well but, it was still nice. Even though Jackson wasn’t at the hotel I kept waking up and listening for him anyway. I fear I will never sleep soundly again in my life.
When we got back to the hotel we debated calling his parents to check on Jack but, we didn’t want to wake them up. We knew that everything was OK because his dad had sent us a picture of Jack smiling and “sitting” on the couch. We went to Bonte Waffles in the am and had a seriously sweet waffle, did some food shopping at Trader Joe’s and headed home to our little guy.
I definitely missed seeing his smiling face that morning and John was anxious to get home to his little guy. When we got home he was cranky and off his schedule. MIL had put him to bed too early so he woke up at 430 am and he didn’t get his late morning nap so he was in need of one. I put him down for a nap and he slept for 3 hours. The little guy definitely needed it. Luckily that night he went to sleep at about 830 pm and slept till 1030 pm then we woke him up and fed him. He slept till 6 am which was good. I would like to wake him at 6 each morning, especially with me going back to work. I’m hoping 6 will work out because I can get him up and fed then feed myself and shower before I have to put him back down at 8.
It is strange how obsessed you become with time when you have a baby. Calculating how many ounces of formula they eat, how many hours they are sleeping and how many hours they should be sleeping. I tried keeping track of everything but, that became way too taxing, since Jack doesn’t always go right down for his nap and sometimes wakes back up. I felt like I was recording times only to later have to change them. I kept track of the formula, too, but it seemed to be a waste of time because once he started sleeping through the night I was able to remember when he ate and how much. When he wasn’t sleeping, my mind was mush.
Also he is so big for his age, that I’m not really concerned about him lacking in nutrition. But I am obsessed with how much he sleeps. He sleeps so much better when he naps and he is so much happier when he naps. I’m glad he naps. Everyone thought it was great when he didn’t sleep during the day because they assumed that it meant he would sleep at night. But that was not the case. All it meant was that he was cranky all day and hard to get to sleep at night. Now that we have a basic schedule down I’m worried about it being adhered too while I’m at work. Jack doesn’t fall asleep well. He needs some help from his caregiver. He needs his swaddle and his rocking. One of the best things I read (other than The Happiest Baby on the Block, which takes the cake) was It get’s Easier and Other Lies We Tell New Mom’s. This book introduced me to the idea of a baby schedule which I think is totally necessary. It also gave me one of my favorite baby quotes “sleep begets sleep”, which is the truth. Think about it, when you nap you want to sleep more often. The more naps Jack gets the better he sleeps at night. Naps are necessary.
Leave a Reply