As a mom to a boy I realize that a day will come when he will find someone else, someone who he loves more than his mama. And for this person he will leave my home and choose to spend the rest of his life with them. I know that I will inevitably become a mother-in-law.
As a wife I know how hard it can be to be to deal with a mother-in-law.
So the other day after a nice long vent about my own mother-in-law, I decided that I needed to make a list of promises to my future daughter-in-law. In hopes that I don’t turn into the type of mother-in-law we all love to hate.
to trust your parenting decisions. You are his mother and you know best. Even if I have to repeat that to myself every day.
to only offer advice when it is asked of me. Though I hope we can be friends and that you will ask for help when you need it.
to never refer to you as, “that girl”.
to call before coming to visit and to never drop by on a mid Sunday morning. I don’t need to know what you and my son are doing or why it took you 5 minutes to answer the door.
to form a relationship with you that is separate from my son. I want to get to know you and for you to know me. My son thinks you are special and I want to get to know you.
to adhere to whatever schedule or lack of schedule you set for your child. Again your his mother you know best.
to not judge if you choose to breast feed or bottle feed or use a pacifier or sleep train or co-sleep or whatever parenting theory you subscribe too.
not to feed your children junk food. Regardless of how you feel about it I will not sugar up your kid and then send him home to you. I know how totally uncool it is.
to offer to babysit and do so often.
when in your home I will pick up after myself and keep to any rules you have for your children.
to never speak ill of you to my son.
to love you like a daughter and treat you like a friend.
to let you know that I was once a new mom and I know how hard it is.
to share this space with you. So that even if i may utter the words, “it’s all worth it” you will know that I have been there before, I have struggled and I have found parenting to be the hardest job I’ve ever undertaken but the one I’ve loved most.
I’m sure once Jack is old enough to get married I will have to read these over and remind myself of them. But here’s hoping that my laying it out now and having this reminder to come back to I will be a better MIL.
What promises would you make to your future Daughter-in-Law?