On the night of my 32nd birthday I told John that this year was going to be the year of yes. That I was going to say, “yes” to everything. I was going to take on new things, seize new opportunities and have new adventures. I was going to say yes, without hesitation or reservation.
My thirties for me have been an amazing time and in many ways so much better than my 20’s. In my 20’s there was still a level of insecurity, still trying to find my place and be ok in my own skin. My 20’s were drinking my way through bars and staying out way too late. They were for bad decisions and indecision and entirely too many things that involved the words jaeger and shots. And while all of that was great at 20 and I loved my 20’s. I find myself much more comfortable in my own skin now. I find that I”m easier on myself, I have my own sense of style I’m not trying to mimic or copy anyone or fit in. In my 30’s I’ve let my guard down, I don’t thrive on drama and gossip two things that fueled so much of my 20’s.
And with being comfortable with yourself comes a the desire to put yourself out there more, experience more. So this year I’ve said, “yes’ a lot. And it has been amazing. I’ve had some really great experiences. I’ve met the Second Lady of the United States, the Philly Phanatic and Ronald McDonald all in the same week. . I’ve been to a blogging conference and media events. I’ve taken Jack on adventures on my own. We’ve played with pirates, visited water parks and pumpkin patches.
I’ve joined clubs and brought people together. I’ve made friends, so many that this morning Jack said, “Mommy you have a lot of friends”. And there was a time in this mothering thing that I didn’t think that was possible, that I couldn’t see outside this bubble of having a baby and being lonely. I’ve turned being a SAHM into a job that I love.
I’ve pushed the blog harder this year and have bigger plans for it next year. I’ve met people who push me to do more and inspire me. And I have a life that in so many ways is blessed and some mornings I pinch myself. Life is good today.
And yet this past month I’ve become a bit burn out on all the things I’ve said “yes” too. The moms night outs, the activities, the trips to fun places. I’ve felt overextended and tired and a bit cranky about all of it. And while I still have fun I find myself longing to be home just enjoying my place and my space. So I’m ending the year of yes by saying no. I’m saying no to heading too far from home and no to having our calendar filled. I’m saying no to big adventures and yes to those that involve bike rides and trips to the local beach. I’m saying yes to spending time at our pool and enjoying cocktails with our neighbors. I’m saying yes to downtime and not being on a schedule.
The year of yes has been wonderful and powerful but saying no can be just as powerful and inspiring. It can force me to slow down and take things in rather than always rushing around. And that’s what I want from 33 more balance, less scheduled, more free-spirted and more amazing adventures. Adventures that start the day after my 33rd birthday, in New York City at Blogger Bash, the last big “yes” I made while 32. I’m looking forward to celebrating in The City with friends old and new.
Jack is very excited for my birthday, and asked how old I would be, and I replied 33. And I expected him to say, “that’s old” instead he said, “that’s awesome”. Yes it is.