I find it hard to believe that our wedding was 8 years ago. That 8 years ago we said “I do” in front of all our friends and family. I remember getting lots of marriage advice and thinking we don’t need that, we got this. After all we had been together for 7 years and lived together for 2. But marriage is different than dating and I’ve learned a lot these past 8 years.
1. Socks will still not be picked up. You know the annoying habits your husband had before you married him? Well, they don’t disappear after you say “I do”, in fact they stay just the same and they might even get worse as now he is more “relaxed” around you.
2. Speaking of relaxed you will likely prolong how long you go between shaving your legs and the number of days you wear the same sweatpants will multiply. He may not shower on his day off and and yes he will likely start farting in front of you. The impressing you stage is over.
3. When you have children your love for your spouse will change. The feeling of having created another human being that you would both die for is pretty powerful stuff. Watching your spouse and your child together sometimes will make you teary-eyed.
4. The words, “I’m going out tonight” won’t matter anymore. When we were dating I always wondered where he was going and who he was with and why I couldn’t come too. Now I, thank god I have the Netflix’s all to myself. You’ll wonder why he doesn’t go out on his own more often.
5. The list of things that aren’t worth fighting about will grow. I remember when we dated where the smallest thing could spur an argument. After 8 years of marriage I know which arguments I won’t win and which aren’t worth having. Note to self 99% of them aren’t worth having.
6. You will complete each other sentences, finish each others thoughts and eat off each others plate. There is a comfort in knowing someone for so long that they know all your likes and dislikes. We tend to pick the same restaurants, activities and adventures. Our separate interests have become shared.
7. It’s important to go to bed. No, not that kind of bed, though that’s important too but not really the kind of thing I talk about here on the blog. But go to bed at the same time even when you may not want to. There is something to be said about going to be together and waking up together.
8. Love changes. It’s not that immediate honeymoon phase love but a comfortable, stronger more resilient love.
One of the things I love most about marriage is seeing how much we’ve grown and changed together. Seeing how becoming parents has made our relationship stronger. There is a joy in being a family, that I can’t really put into words. Marriage isn’t always easy but these past 8 years have been pretty amazing.
Love this post!! and you are SO right about number 5…. the fights are definitely fewer bc we've learned from the past what we need to let roll off our back! Happy anniversary!
Thank you Lindsey! It is easier when you know from past experience what arguments aren't worth having.
Great post, and so very, very true. Love changes – and you do have to work at it. But if you do, it can be wonderful.
Yes it can be wonderful even if it is a lot of work.
Great list. I love #5. So true!
Thank you! You definitely learn to pick your battles the longer you are married.
(LOL) just saw Lindsey's response!
It was a big shock to me in the beginning that it's not happily ever after like we're taught by Disney. LOL!
Yes it's not at all like a Disney movie.
#7 and #5 are definitely so important!
Yes they are!
Absolutely love this and it is 100% correct…even after almost 20 years (yep, 20 years next August!)
Thank you and congrats on 20 years, wow!
Happy Anniversary. Marriage is HARD, but man you are SO spot on!
Thank you Reesa!
SO lovely! Congratulations on 8 years. #5 couldn't be more right!
You know when I wrote that I wasn't sure everyone would agree but it's the one that people keep coming back to.
Amen to the shaving! I shave more in the summer, but still, I'm happy just to get in the shower, never mind shave.
Ugh me too, and I'm happy when it's winter and I don't have to worry about it
Love this list!
Along with completing each other's sentences, sometimes we don't even need to say something at all and we know what the other is thinking. We'll both start laughing at something, look at each other, and know exactly why the other is laughing, which makes us laugh harder.
Yes! We have those moments too.
Great post, love your list! Congratulations!
Thank you!
We've been married for 15 years and I agree with this list. We struggle with #7. He goes to bed at 9 pm so he can be ready for work. I just can't do it. Sometimes I'll lay with him until he falls asleep and then go and do what I need to get done. He gets back up at 5 am and I will get up with him and then sleep until about 8 am when the kids get up.
http://italianbelladiaries.blogspot.com/
That's nice that you atleast attempt to get in bed at the same time even if you don't go to sleep. Sometimes it's just the act of being there.