I find it hard to believe that our wedding was 8 years ago. That 8 years ago we said “I do” in front of all our friends and family. I remember getting lots of marriage advice and thinking we don’t need that, we got this. After all we had been together for 7 years and lived together for 2. But marriage is different than dating and I’ve learned a lot these past 8 years.
1. Socks will still not be picked up. You know the annoying habits your husband had before you married him? Well, they don’t disappear after you say “I do”, in fact they stay just the same and they might even get worse as now he is more “relaxed” around you.
2. Speaking of relaxed you will likely prolong how long you go between shaving your legs and the number of days you wear the same sweatpants will multiply. He may not shower on his day off and and yes he will likely start farting in front of you. The impressing you stage is over.
3. When you have children your love for your spouse will change. The feeling of having created another human being that you would both die for is pretty powerful stuff. Watching your spouse and your child together sometimes will make you teary-eyed.
4. The words, “I’m going out tonight” won’t matter anymore. When we were dating I always wondered where he was going and who he was with and why I couldn’t come too. Now I, thank god I have the Netflix’s all to myself. You’ll wonder why he doesn’t go out on his own more often.
5. The list of things that aren’t worth fighting about will grow. I remember when we dated where the smallest thing could spur an argument. After 8 years of marriage I know which arguments I won’t win and which aren’t worth having. Note to self 99% of them aren’t worth having.
6. You will complete each other sentences, finish each others thoughts and eat off each others plate. There is a comfort in knowing someone for so long that they know all your likes and dislikes. We tend to pick the same restaurants, activities and adventures. Our separate interests have become shared.
7. It’s important to go to bed. No, not that kind of bed, though that’s important too but not really the kind of thing I talk about here on the blog. But go to bed at the same time even when you may not want to. There is something to be said about going to be together and waking up together.
8. Love changes. It’s not that immediate honeymoon phase love but a comfortable, stronger more resilient love.
One of the things I love most about marriage is seeing how much we’ve grown and changed together. Seeing how becoming parents has made our relationship stronger. There is a joy in being a family, that I can’t really put into words. Marriage isn’t always easy but these past 8 years have been pretty amazing.