I’ve been beating myself up a lot this past week about not being prepared for the start of the new year. For not jumping into all the new year things that I want to do . For not checking things off my list or having a game plan. For the fact that my Christmas decorations were still half up nearly 2 weeks later and I haven’t started cleaning the babies room (something I swore I was going to start on January first).
It’s easy to feel bad about yourself this time of year. The extra holiday pounds even I can admit I’m trending higher than I was when I was pregnant with Jackson. And the endless babble on TV about being a better you in 2016, it isn’t always easy to jump in with 2 feet and do it. It seems like every where I look someone is shouting “be healthier” “get in shape” “clear clutter” “organize your life”. “Be a better you, damn it”
But I honestly I haven’t felt up to being a better me. The holidays wiped me out. And January just isn’t my friend. It’s easily my least favorite month of the year. My motivation ranks about a zero in January when it’s hard enough getting out of bed and getting Jack to school on time. And all my New Year good intentions seem to have gone out the window.
The other day as I sat on hold for work, scrolling Facebook and thinking about all the things I should be doing other than eating my way through a bag of York Peppermint Patties, I saw this quote “nothing in nature blooms all year, be patient with yourself”. Those words hit home. Maybe this isn’t my month. Maybe January first is just an arbitrary date and the fast that I haven’t started all the things doesn’t matter very much. Maybe winter is not my season to bloom.
The Christmas stuff got put away later that day. I’ve crossed some items off my to-do list. The baby still has no name and the room is still a mess, but she isn’t due for another 15 weeks so there is still time. Things don’t happen overnight, even if I often wish that life was like a movie montage where things speed up when the character is losing weight or cleaning up and suddenly the task is done.
So these past few days I’ve been more patient with myself. I’ve allowed myself to take it slow. To let things go, to let someone else do it. I’m allowing myself to start small, do a little a day and it will all get done. There is a quote that hangs outside my bosses office that says “one hour a day can make all the difference” and it’s one of those things that I’ve been trying to keep in mind. Sometimes big things get done just a little at a time not in one big montage.