February has never been good to me. For as long as I can remember, February has been a gray cloud that has hung over my head. Every year around this time I start thinking I need a fresh start, that I need a change. Most of the biggest changes, challenges and canceled plans of my life have been born in February. In high school I researched working on dude ranch, like on Hey Dude! In college I applied to the Disney College Program, got accepted and then opted not to go. Later I applied to intern at Soap Opera Weekly and I spent part of my summer commuting to New York. One year John and I swore we were going to leave NJ for Florida. One year we decided to have a baby…that was a pretty good February.
The thing about February is that it makes me doubt myself. My decisions, where I am in life, what I’m doing with my time, all of it. Maybe I have too much time on my hands in February. Maybe it’s my natural instinct to hibernate. Maybe I just need to see the sun more often.
It is in this season of doubt and cold, that I made my happiness goal for the month to connect. Because getting out more and having some fun is usually good for the soul.
So this month I’ve started taking Zumba at the local cultural center. I’ve done a painting class with friends and met up with old friends in my home town. I’ve joined a local moms club and I’ve been making a better effort to get together with friends.
And in many ways it’s been a good month and I feel happier and I feel connected. But I still wait for summer, I still dream of warmer weather, I still Google homes in Florida and vacations to Aruba. I still question myself. I still find myself filled with doubt.
So at the end of the month I went to Florida to visit my mom. And it was the perfect way to end the month, with sunshine on my face and time with my best friend.
And I have to say that I’m leaving this February much happier than I started it. I do feel more connected. I like looking back at the month and seeing a page filled with plans and looking forward to another month that is filled with plans. I like that I’ve made new friends and made some great new connections. I like that I’ve stepped outside my comfort zone and joined groups and went to events even when I had the desire to stay home in my sweatpants.
So what have you done to make yourself happier this month?
After reading Gretchen Rubin’s book The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun I decided to embark on my own happiness project.
Learn more about my happiness project.