A few weeks ago it rained on the only day of the year that I had organized a pool party with our friends. The older we get the harder it seems for all of us to find time to get together and these days it’s a bit of a rarity for us all to be in the same place at the same time. I remember in our 20’s, when if we had gone 48 hours without talking to each other, then something must have been wrong. I remember spending every Thursday through Sunday night together at our bar.
So when it rained on the one day we were going to get to be together, I was bummed. I was in a bad mood. I decided not to cancel the party, what else was everyone going to do on a rainy Saturday and besides we had to eat.
So I cooked and I cleaned up a little and I put on my favorite music and got myself in the party mood. I poured a drink and I waited. And they came the same faces that show up every time we have something. The friends I’ve had for decades. The ones who will come in good times or in bad, in sickness and in health. Those friends who I hope to have all my life.
And as the night wore on my worries about the weather dissipated. Drinks were poured and good food was served and there was laughter.
And I was reminded why these are my people, my framily. The friends who will come over and play with my son and drink my beer and eat my food. Who will tell old stories and laugh. Who can poke fun at each other without hurt feelings. Who talk about farts and burps and other bathroom and bedroom related things without a second glance. Who will drink too much and sleep on my floor if necessary.
The people who I don’t have to dust for or worry if everything is perfect. The people who put me at ease even when I’m anxious or worried. The people who show up with food and drinks and expect nothing in return.
They’re the people who’ve held my hair back after a long night of drinking. The guys who kept us safe at the bars and who are always a phone call away when my car won’t start or there’s a dead animal in the bottom of my pool. The girls who I danced on bars with, who’s babies I’ve held and who visited me in the hospital after I had Jack.
They are more than friends, they are the family we’ve chosen for ourselves.
They are the people I imagine growing old with. The people who will still be making inappropriate jokes and laughing too loud and talking too much when we’re old and gray.
They are the people that I know will be there when times are bad just as quickly as they show up when times are good. This was so very much reaffirmed when a week after the pool party my friends father passed away unexpectedly. I love the way my framily rallied around him and his.
We’re family. Even if we’re not
.
Having people like this in your life… it's the best feeling! They are very much like family.
I'm sorry for your friend's loss. I am quite a bit further down life's path than you are and I will tell you that those framily relationships will only get sweeter and more meaningful in your life. And I can also tell you that, once your children are launched and busy developing their own framilies, you will have even more opportunities to spend time with these very special folks in your life.