When I was oh so much younger I went out a lot. Weekends started on Thursday and lasted until Sunday night. We rolled from one bar to the next without a care in the world. Back then I could handle my drink.
Now most nights I’m in my PJ’s by 7 and an overpoured glass of wine has been known to cause hangovers. And those hangovers ain’t nothing like the ones I had in my twenties. I can’t hang like a used to.
Most of my nights out, consist of hanging at a friends house in sweatpants or dinner at a local restaurant or the occasional wine tasting. All of which has me safely tucked into bed by 11:30, when my husband rolls over and mutters about me coming home so late.
Recently, I went out, like out, out. To 90’s night at a club. Yes, a club. And while it was my idea to go, when the night finally came around I found myself feeling a little unsure, because I hadn’t had this kind of MNO in years.
Thoughts Moms have before Moms Night Out
Why are we going out at 8:30. Isn’t that too late?
What if I’m the oldest person there? What if everyone knows I’m the oldest person there? What if they are all looking at me like, “what is this MOM doing here?”
This is going to require me to wear pants with buttons.
Or maybe a dress. But not a dress that I wore for family photos or for a christening, like a going out dress.
Shit! I no longer have a going out wardrobe, because I tossed all the sparkly, short, showy, clubby things in my big closet clean-out.
Shit! I have to wear heels and not the chunky wedge sandals that I’ve been wearing to everything for the last five years, like actual heels.
Do I still even know how to walk in heels?
I should totally start pre-gaming…
Except I don’t want to get drunk.
Well, not too drunk. Maybe a nice buzz, I used to know how to milk a nice buzz.
What do people wear to clubs these days anyway? Is there a Pinterest board for that?
Maybe I can wear that trendy romper I got last year? Except… the bathroom.
Does this dress I wore 5 years ago still fits and am I daring enough to try?
No. Just no.
Would it be tacky to stick jello shots in my purse? (True story)
What if I hate the music? What if I want to come home early? What if I really just want to sit home in my PJ’s.
Who’s idea was this?
I really just want to sit home in my PJ’s.
I should have had another cup of coffee. So very tired.
Shit, the club doesn’t open till 11, who’s idea was it to come here?
Oh, that’s right it was mine.
But then the DJ comes on and starts playing This Is How We Do It and you can’t help but find yourself in the center of the dance floor when the jello shots kick in and suddenly you don’t care that you haven’t slept past 7 am in years or that underneath that flowy top is a mom bod. And you don’t care who is watching or thinking you’re too old for this because you’re out with your girlfriends and for a moment you just might feel 22 again.