Being the second child means that your 2-year-old pictures are Valentine’s Day Photos, that were taken last month.
It means that Mom and Dad are wise enough not to spend their money on a big fancy party.
It means that no presents were purchased in advance but that you got to go to Toys R Us and pick out just what you wanted.
It means that when I look back on your birth I only have a few pictures instead of dozens.
It means you don’t have a baby book, but not to worry your brothers isn’t filled anyway.
It means that when you cry I don’t instantly come running because I’ve been through this before.
It means that we’ve become a little lax about baby proofing because basically whatever is still baby proofed from your brother is all you’re getting.
It means that you are still rear-facing at over 2 years old, not because I’m being super safe when it comes to car seats but more so because I don’t want to move the seat.
It means we spend more time at home because I don’t feel the need to rush you to every activity for fear of missing out. It means that when we are rushing to an activity it is usually your brothers.
It means hand-me-downs and toys that are used.
It means that there were not monthly trips to JC Penney for pictures. It means that most of your moments are documented on my phone and that my fancy camera sits on a shelf.
It means that you probably watch too much TV and eat too many snacks but that Mom knows you will survive this.
It means that I’m worrying less or that I’m worried about different things this time around. It means that I think I have all the answers but that you are asking different questions than your sibling did.
It means that my heart knows the weight of motherhood all too well. The crushing love, the late night worries, the OMG what if feeling that lives in my gut.
It means that I tend to hold you closer. That I’m not ready for you to grow up. That I’m not wishing away these difficult toddler years in hopes of some far off better days. I know there aren’t better days just different days and that each stage has it’s challenges.
It means I stop more and let you cuddle longer. It means I don’t think about what else I can be doing as you rest your head against me after a long day because I know these moments are fleeting.
It means I lose my temper less and that I am less frustrated because I know this too shall pass and before I blink you will be on to something else.
And instead of counting down the years until Kindergarten, I’m silently hoping that these years take their time.
And while your life may be less documented and less curated than your older sibling, know that you are loved just as much and possibly a little better because I know so much more now that I didn’t know then.
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